This really is a new experience for me. Some stories I don’t know how to share because I am afraid to hurt peoples feelings as I share my truth. Lots of the beauty that I have learned in life has been from washing off the mud and dirt that I have played in or others have thrown at me.
The mud I have played in is easier. Because it really effects only me. As I learn the process of washing off mud, I realize how much beauty there is in life. In fact, I can’t really take credit for the cleaning process. If I was accurately to describe what happened to me I would say Jesus has cleaned me. Jesus has gently guided me to a mirror and shown me the stains. He whispered so lovingly that the dirt never effected my worth but had a role to play in my worthiness. He showed me how to remove the filth and expose the beauty of a clean body. That was His miracle and free gift to me and to all of us.
Living with codependency I was troubled and sometimes stuck by the mud others threw at me. I wasn’t sure if I had any control about washing it off. (When I describe it in terms of mud that last sentence seems silly but when its hurts and pains inside I never knew the process of washing and cleaning) It turns out that both processes are the same. Jesus still gently leads me to a mirror. He shows me the mud that was there. He loving throws His arms around me and says “I can help you wash this mud too. I know exactly how this mud feels too.” And so we wash. When I feel so clean and look at myself again in the mirror I think… I wish everyone knew how good it feels to be clean. I wish everyone knew how ready God is to lead us to the mirror and show us where to wash. I don’t know everyone. But I do have a computer and I can write this blog. It doesn’t matter to me if everyone reads it… but if someone reads it and can be helped than that is enough for me.
So I will keep blogging. It is uncomfortable but I truly believe it is our real authentic stories that heal people. It’s showing and telling mud, not to focus on the filth, but to testify of the redemption of the One who will make you clean.
Besides my greatest example kept His wounds in His hands. Whenever He comes to anyone He shows them His wounds and I am trying to be like Him.