BRAVE is the actual title. I thought they should not try to sugar coat it but just call it what it is; but as I did the eight week course I decided that maybe it was an appropriate title.
Brene Brown said
I love this quote. She sums up what I feel about my journey. I had to learn how to own my story. Whether I liked some of it or not, it’s mine. Also, loving myself through learning and accepting my story was hard too… But like another great teacher said, “the truth shall make you free.”
I had convinced a girlfriend to take this course with me. Just a few days before class started my mind tried to convince me of all the reasons I did not need to take this course. For example, 8 weeks is a long time away from family, it’s June and that month is always hard and busy, and my anger isn’t really that bad. We both discussed lots of rationalizations as to why this might not be the time that this problem needed to be tackled. But in the end I was glad a good friend had the nerve to say, “ Let’s do it”. Even though initially it was my idea, in all honesty I probably would have backed out if it wasn’t for her example.
The very first time that I walked into class I was nervous. I did not know what to expect. But I knew that I would be dressed my best and prepared with notebook and pens. I scanned the room trying to decide where I fit into this crowd. The truth is that I did not want to fit in at all. I wanted to be different, to be the exception. So in my initial scan I figured that most of these people were probably court ordered to be there. At least that is the safety net I tried to create for myself. Ironically, I think most people were just like me. They knew they needed and wanted to change and were humble enough to admit that they needed help.
The first class was pretty slow. Lots of paperwork and not much information. We did however learn about anger as a secondary emotion… comparable to the iceberg image below.
Basically, anger is the tip of the iceberg. Anger is the secondary emotion. If we take the time to look at the whole iceberg and the feelings underneath, these are what Brene Brown was talking about. It’s an honest look at the discomfort underneath the anger. Its hard to look there but it is a happier way to live… but initially it doesn’t feel that way. But by the end of eight weeks and far beyond I am happy to look at what the real issue is and then I can deal with the real problem. I hope you enjoy my anger management journey too.