Claire Bear

To be a mother was all I really ever wanted. The whole idea of someone growing inside of me and knowing that I would be the one that they called mom was so miraculous. I have always loved my mother and how she was there for me. That it was a natural extension for me to want to pass that on to someone else.

When I found out I was pregnant with Claire I was so happy. I wanted a baby and it felt like Heavenly Father had made me wait forever! (I was 27 years old) My pregnancies are really easy. I don’t get sick and I enjoyed having this bundle of love. (except at the end, when your ready to meet her) I remember hearing her heart beat for the first time and feeling her kick inside me. I loved it all.

Finally she was here… and as much as babies like growing inside me they definitely don’t like coming out of me. (If this is too much information you don’t have to keep reading.) But giving birth was the first thing in my life where I really felt like I needed Dave. I was so independent before I married him. I had bought a house by myself, I was comfortable going to the movies alone, and I was even good at going to a restaurant solo… so there wasn’t much that I felt really dependent on Dave. But with the birth he was there with me the whole time. He was holding my hand and helping me breathe and just coaching me through this whole experience.

When Claire was finally here, I just remember thinking “Is she a girl?” And Dave yells, “Yup and she looks just like me!” Of course she did! … I was exhausted and starving. I hadn’t eaten in two days!!! But I was happy.

Although, the first night in the hospital the nurse offered to take her while we slept and I was so tired and grateful that we both agreed and slept comforted by the kindness of the nurse.

I remember Dave and I used to lay her out and just stare at her. She was this marvelous miracle that we had created. It was beyond any beautiful thing we had ever done before and we both yearned to be better. We instantly started family home evening. It just felt like we should.

Claire was so content. She loved people and she was so kind. She could speak quite well and was just a tiny little peanut. I remember the health unit was worried because she was below average height and weight. But neither Dave nor I are giants. I would be more surprised if she was above average. Besides someone has to be below average.

I do remember at around six months I began to lose my milk and I didn’t notice that my daughter was getting really thin. I feel awful about it but it was my first and I didn’t know any better. When I look back at photos I think how did I not notice but my breasts were still leaking milk that I just thought she was growing. We figured it out and she came through fine. It’s a good thing children are so resilient!

But Claire has always had a kind heart. She thinks of others and really does try to please and serve. She has always been close to her grandmas. My mom was really sick when she was a baby and they spent a lot of nap times together.

Gayle has always been really involved in her life too. They like sewing and gardening and baking together.

Claire is a good older sister. She is a kind daughter. I don’t always understand her but I do love her and she is very forgiving. I want her to know that I cherish her. I always have.

I love that Claire likes to read. She always has… we used to read 5 books before nap time and she still reads today.

I love her angelic voice. When she sings it almost always brings tears to my eyes. I wish she would develop that talent more but I believe she will. I have enjoyed having daughters. I love that I am raising sisters. I have always loved my sister and am glad that I get to pass on that legacy to them.

Even though I have good days and bad days I do love being a mom. At the end of the day its the job description that I like best… Mom. Claire did go through a phase where she started to call me any title but mom. She would say mother, moma, mummy, Danielle, mums, and I drew the line when she found a new phrase “big momma mummy.”(It was in a Halloween book).

 

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Claire Bear

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